I’m not someone that generally makes New Year’s resolutions. I usually think what’s the point, they usually don’t last, and then I’m just left in disappointment for the rest of the year until the next New Year’s Eve when I can repeat the same mistake! I tend to set these high goals for myself without having the short-term goals or plans in place to achieve them.
But this year will be different. I’ll be welcoming a baby boy and there are some things, as a new mom, I want to at least have in the back of my mind when I start this new journey.
If New Year’s resolutions work for you to achieve the things you want to, then great! I sincerely hope you do achieve everything you set out to do in 2019, because you are absolutely capable. For me, the things I want to do this 2019 are less ‘New Year’s Resolutions’ and more changes I want to make and things I want to do that go along with the new title I’ll be adding to my identity as ‘mom’.
LESS PHONE TIME
This was actually something I did make a goal of this past year and I did pretty well for the first half of the year. I started leaving my phone in different places around the house or leaving it upstairs for a bit so I wouldn’t be tempted, and it worked. I was also busy with school and work up until mid-June so that helped, especially working two jobs during the summer.
Then, as these things go sometimes, I started getting back into the habit of being on it more and by the end of the year I was back into being on social media all the time. I finished school and I left one of my jobs, so I’ve been working less (pregnancy and stuff), making it harder to keep busy. This year I’ll have a newborn to keep me busy (and a successful blog to keep running…?) and I don’t want to miss a single second of him growing up.
DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE MESS
I already know this is going to be a hard one for me, so I’ve started working on it already. The house is slowly being overrun by baby stuff and I can’t help much with some things around the house, like the dishes. The dishes used to be my job because I don’t really mind doing them, and I hate when they pile up. Hubby absolutely despises doing them, and he’s had to do them more with my belly getting big and in the way, and my back hurting after I stand in one spot for too long.
So obviously, he puts them off and doesn’t do them when I want them done. I know when baby comes, they’ll be done even less, along with other housework, so I’m trying so so hard to not care as much. Really, everything will get done eventually and spending time with family is way more important than a clean home.
DON’T LISTEN TO THE CRITICISM OF OTHER MOMS AND THE WORLD
This is something else I’ve already been exposed to. People haven’t necessarily given me criticism, but everyone – I MEAN EVERYONE – has some sort of advice or something to say about pregnancy and being a mother. Usually, it’s well-meaning people who just want to share their experiences in hopes of helping me, which is great and is essentially what I’m doing here! It’s usually super helpful and I have no problem with it, as long as I keep in mind others’ experiences aren’t necessarily going to be mine.
The thing is, I know what this world is like, especially on the internet and social media. I’ve seen the things that people can say, and I know the different opinions people can have on everything including breastfeeding, vaccinations, screen time, educating your children and even the toys kids play with! It’s hard to come up with your own opinions and to know what really is best.
The thing to keep in mind is, I know best for my baby and family, and everyone else knows best for theirs. What we should be doing is helping each other out, encouraging each other, and not criticizing any of the choices other moms make for their kids. Parenting is hard enough without others telling you you’re doing it wrong. Who really cares, as long as your child is healthy and happy?
SURROUND YOURSELF WITH OTHER MAMAS
Surrounding myself with other encouraging new moms is something I really want to do this year. Being so young, a lot of my friends aren’t having babies yet and that’s okay! All in their own time.
But it means I don’t have a lot of people who understand what I’m going through, or who are going through it at the same time as me. In the past, I’ve had a habit of just trying to get through things on my own, and that hasn’t been healthy. With a baby to think about it’s important I get the encouragement I need and not be afraid to ask for help!
DON’T FORGET YOUR SPOUSE
I’ve heard and read about many new mamas who stress the importance of managing your relationship/marriage. I’m sure that with a new baby, as a new mom, it can be hard to prioritize anything that isn’t baby related.
But my relationship IS baby related. I know there will be times when it’s just not possible to have a date night, or maybe I’ll feel like I can do something better than hubby can when it comes to baby, but he’s a new parent too. He needs to learn how to do things and he’ll have his own way I’m sure. We both need to learn to be both mother and father, and husband and wife. It will take time.
DON’T FORGET YOU
SELF-CARE. SO important in general, but particularly when becoming a new mom. Even through this pregnancy I’ve been told so many times, ‘make sure you pamper yourself!’, ‘take time for you!’, and ‘relax!’. It’s hard when there is so much to do to get ready for baby! But, just like taking care of your relationship, taking care of you is taking care of baby. How can you expect to take care of a baby when you’re not taken care of yourself??
I’m not saying it’s always going to be possible to be well-rested, to take a shower, or to go get a pedicure. But I know that for me, taking care of myself will mean not stressing about the messy house, eating right (as much as possible), and getting out of the house, especially walking. Also, asking people for help. Even little things like lighting one of my favourite candles, or just making sure I get dressed I know will make a huge difference.
I’m excited for this new year, and I’m excited for this ‘new me’. Becoming a mom has been a life-long dream of mine and now it’s come true! Being a mom is such a blessing, but also a challenge. I’m going to be raising another living, breathing, human being!
But I’m so excited and so ready. I hope anyone who’s going through this exciting new chapter with me finds encouragement in the things I’ve decided to make a priority this year. I know I’ll definitely be referring back to this post to remind myself of what’s important – taking care of my new family, including me!
Share and save this post if you or your mama friends want to make some changes in 2019 too!